Unabashed Roleplay: You Be Tyra and I’ll Be Cynthia

September 9th, 2009

Tyra Banks, the self-described nice girl (and me-described tie for worst talk show host with Tempestt Bledsoe and Ananda Lewis), got her weave ruffled during yesterday’s Nightline interview (gets good at 6:13).  Cynthia McFadden was downright fierce and *not* in a Tyra kind of way.  (And by the by, Tyra, fuck you for pillaging that word. )

Do a dramatic reading with your friends.  It only takes three people!


A = Cynthia McFadden


B = Tyra


C = Tyra's Publicist






 A: Both Paulina Porizkova and Janice Dickinson, when they left the show, they were not very nice about you.

B: <<smile with eyes>>

C: Let’s not go there

A: Well I AM going there, I’m going to ask that question.B: <<“I’m-not-telling-but-I-know” shrug and eye-smile>>

A: …why do you think both of them had such negative things to say about their experience?

B: I don’t know.  Why do you think?

A: I wasn’t there.

C: She doesn’t wanna go there.

B: Why do you think? <<pouty baby lip>> I don’t know.

A: Jealous? Is that what you’re sugg–

B: I’m asking you. I didn’t say that word. You said it. <<smiles with eyes>> <<asks again with eyes>>

A: <<asks back/says “you cunt” with eyes>>

B: You said it. Is that what you think?

A: I’m asking.

B: You said it. I didn’t say it.

C: She’s not gonna go there.

A: <<puts reading glasses back on>> I think she just did.

Favorite Cynthia quotations:

“ A lot of the winners (of ANTM) have gone on to less-than stellar modeling careers, I mean,  modeling for JC Penneys (sic)…” 

“One might be forgiven for suggesting that the real star of America’s Next Top Model, cycle after cycle, is Ms. Banks, herself.” 

Miss Cynthia, if you’re nasty!!

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One Response to “Unabashed Roleplay: You Be Tyra and I’ll Be Cynthia”

  1. Brian says:

    Worst talk show host? Excuse me, but you forgot to add Gabrille Carteris to the mix. Andrea had no bizzness with her own show.

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