Category: ‘This is not a celebrity gossip blog’

Unabashedly Lo-Ham: F U

July 8th, 2010

To You From Me

Unabashed Casting Recall: James Franco as Allen Ginsberg

June 13th, 2010

Thumbing through my LA Gay and Lezzie Film festival guide, I was forlorn to see a too-attractive wasp sitting at a typewriter wearing a white tee and Buddy Holly glasses with the word “HOWL” next to it and, moreover, the name “James Franco” under that.  I say Goddamn!  Put a hot guy in anything and gays will eat it up.  Shit.  Ginsberg wasn’t a hot Aryan, he was a handsome Jew.  James Franco is a mere showpiece, a tart.  Where’s Jeff Goldblum when you need him?

It's fun to be a gay beat poet!

Unabashed Shocker: J’Hate Sex and the City (and GLEE for that matter)

May 27th, 2010

I hate Sex and the City

I hate the entire SATC franchise

I hate the acronym SATC

I hate the slutty one who was in Mannequin

I hate Carrie’s voice-overs

I hate New York City

I hate rich white bitches

I hate alleged fashionistas

Not all of us queens like this shit, okay ladies?  Oh and while I’m on the topic: FUCK GLEE, TOO.

Now listen to Sandra B. explain why she turned down the role of Miranda:

THIS JUST IN from the New York Times re: Liza Minelli performing “All The Single Ladies” in SATC 2.

“Her version is in no way superior to the one in ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,’ and it is somehow both the high point of ‘Sex and the City 2′ and a grim harbinger of what is to come.”

Unabashed Literature: Raquel Welch “Beyond the Cleavage”

April 26th, 2010

Actress, Mother, Designer of high-end wig line: What’s left to do?  Write a shitty book.

From Amazon.com: Whether refusing to change her name to Debbie–because producers considered “Raquel” too ethnic–or to lie about her age, even to the detriment of her career, she has evolved elegantly over time into a true champion for women who defy traditional aging.

Along with bringing baby boomers into her confidence–she offers essential tips for staying motivated and positive past fifty, as well as divulging her secrets for fabulous hair and makeup–she even talks to today‚Äôs younger generation of women about the importance of carrying themselves with dignity and self-respect.

Unabashed Head Turn: Naomi Campbell

April 22nd, 2010

It’s just fun to provoke Naomi.  While the “thankyouverymuches” are good, the head turn at 00:18 is the best.

Unabashed Call Out: Doug Benson is Gay

April 21st, 2010

Now I’m not one of those gays who thinks everyone is gay but comedian Doug Benson is gay.  Fine.  Mum’s the word, I don’t care.  But when you start fronting like you bow at the velvet meat curtains, I have to call a queen out.

While partaking in Pot Christmas, April 20, I tuned into the lackadaisical 2007 documentary, Super High Me, starring Mr. Benson, and knew I was watching a fellow sista.  He has the walk: the stiff, controlled gait of a man with a secret.  He has the voice: a throat that’s not satisfied without a dick in it.  And, finally, he has gay face (see link).  He’s a classic closet case using marijuana to avoid his gay reality.  It’s okay honey, I get it.

Beneath the Sheets

I wouldn’t bother to bring this up except that in one scene of his stand-up comedy which is interspersed throughout the film, Benson starts talking about how pussy is one of his favorite things other than weed!  Now this is where I draw the gay line: you don’t front like you prone to pussy eating when you’re really a Cockstruzel.  Please.  The only pussy he likes is cat.  His pussy of choice is asshole.  The pussy he visits most is a glory hole in a park restroom.  In which case, I like pussy too.

Unabashed Mammy Moment: Barb & Mo’

March 8th, 2010

barb_mo“Mo’Nique, may I lay my head on your bosom?”  -BW

Unabashed Schooling: Sandra B. READS Kathy G.

February 25th, 2010

I came across audio from the Howard Stern Show with guest Sandra Bernhard waxing poetic on fake, phony, and one shtick pony, Kathy Griffin.

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Stern: We had Kathy Griffin here yesterday.

SB: Oh God.  Jesus Christ.

Stern: Tell me your feelings.  I want to know because you are an elder statesman of comedy.

SB: Well she’s no spring chicken but listen…she came to success late in life.  She loves my ass and she’s come to see many times and she’s taken my basic premise which is to disseminate pop culture.  However, when you’re somebody of my level and intellectual ability, I take it and I layer it.  I don’t just throw a cake.  I  give you a seven-layer sacre torte.  She came and took the base elements of what I did and–who can’t put on a Kate Gosselin wig and go “Gahgaghgahgahgah!”  I mean that’s all she does, “Gahgahgahgahgah,” like a shrieking harpy freak.  Every time she has a special on Bravo it’s the same fucking special every goddamn time.  I’ve written fifteen shows in the past ten years and every one of them touches on something new and interesting that is really revealing where we’re headed as a culture.  I don’t just jump into the waters of present culture.  I’m on the precipice of what is happening.

Unabashedly Quotable: Says Celine D.

February 10th, 2010

“We did a miscarriage.”

-Celine Dion on the Oprah Winfrey Show

celinedion-resize-s925-s450-fit

b. murph: was it my fault?

December 20th, 2009

tv-animation-11I was literally–no joke–singing the praises of Brittany Murphy not 12 hours ago…and I wake up to find out she died this morning.  This is the first celebrity death of 2009 that makes me sad and B. makes me nervous that the entire casts of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and New Jersey are going to die because I was talking about them last night, too.  God, you can have all of them EXCEPT Kandi.

luannpuppets