Unabashed Mammy Moment: Barb & Mo’

March 8th, 2010

barb_mo“Mo’Nique, may I lay my head on your bosom?”  -BW

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Unabashedly Cute: Protected Heterosexual Sex

March 3rd, 2010

This french PSA actually makes heterosexual sex look cute!!

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Unabashed Casting Call: Grease XXX

March 2nd, 2010

Porn director Axel Braun (take a rock star’s first name and pair it with a paper towel company) announced yesterday that he is holding auditions for “Grease XXX,” a “big-budget (porn) parody” of the 1978 film, “Grease.”118120_r3Per the Xbiz website: The movie will feature five different dance numbers requiring talent to do their own singing and dancing.

Per director, Braun: “Many performers are incredibly talented individuals who have simply chosen to make their living in the adult industry for personal reasons. ‘Grease XXX’ will give all of them a real opportunity to shine!”

A real opporuntity to shine.  In Grease.  I bet that wasn’t on purpose, either.

I’m gonna take a shot — a greasy, shiny shot — at possible song/dance numbers to be included:

Hopelessly Devoted to Goo

Born to Hand Job

Summer Dykes

You’re the One that I Want (to fuck)

Look at Me, I’m Tommy Lee

There Aren’t Worse Things I Could Do

We Cum Together

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Unabashed Schooling: Sandra B. READS Kathy G.

February 25th, 2010

I came across audio from the Howard Stern Show with guest Sandra Bernhard waxing poetic on fake, phony, and one shtick pony, Kathy Griffin.

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Feasting on a Kathy Salad

Stern: We had Kathy Griffin here yesterday.

SB: Oh God.  Jesus Christ.

Stern: Tell me your feelings.  I want to know because you are an elder statesman of comedy.

SB: Well she’s no spring chicken but listen…she came to success late in life.  She loves my ass and she’s come to see many times and she’s taken my basic premise which is to disseminate pop culture.  However, when you’re somebody of my level and intellectual ability, I take it and I layer it.  I don’t just throw a cake.  I  give you a seven-layer sacre torte.  She came and took the base elements of what I did and–who can’t put on a Kate Gosselin wig and go “Gahgaghgahgahgah!”  I mean that’s all she does, “Gahgahgahgahgah,” like a shrieking harpy freak.  Every time she has a special on Bravo it’s the same fucking special every goddamn time.  I’ve written fifteen shows in the past ten years and every one of them touches on something new and interesting that is really revealing where we’re headed as a culture.  I don’t just jump into the waters of present culture.  I’m on the precipice of what is happening.

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Unabashed Memorabilia: Roseanne Crew Hat

February 19th, 2010

Yes I did purchase this on Ebay for $20.


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Unabashedly Fashionly: Yours Truly

February 17th, 2010


Can’t a bitch get her low-fat cappuccino without flashbulbs popping?

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Unabashedly Quotable: Says Celine D.

February 10th, 2010

“We did a miscarriage.”

-Celine Dion on the Oprah Winfrey Show


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Unabashed Throwback: A 1990’s Joke

February 9th, 2010

Why did the gerbil get stuck?

He couldn’t get out of Gere.


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Unabashed Drag Name: Channing Tatum

February 4th, 2010


Stockard Channing Tatum O’Neal.


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Unabashed Believer: Says Roseanne Conner

January 26th, 2010

“There just is a God — there is!  I swear to God there’s a God.  And if there ain’t, I’ve been screwed.”

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