Category: ‘This is not a celebrity gossip blog’
Thumbing through my LA Gay and Lezzie Film festival guide, I was forlorn to see a too-attractive wasp sitting at a typewriter wearing a white tee and Buddy Holly glasses with the word “HOWL” next to it and, moreover, the name “James Franco” under that. I say Goddamn! Put a hot guy in anything and gays will eat it up. Shit. Ginsberg wasn’t a hot Aryan, he was a handsome Jew. James Franco is a mere showpiece, a tart. Where’s Jeff Goldblum when you need him?
I hate the entire SATC franchise
I hate the acronym SATC
I hate the slutty one who was in Mannequin
I hate Carrie’s voice-overs
I hate New York City
I hate rich white bitches
I hate alleged fashionistas
Not all of us queens like this shit, okay ladies? Oh and while I’m on the topic: FUCK GLEE, TOO.
Now listen to Sandra B. explain why she turned down the role of Miranda:
THIS JUST IN from the New York Times re: Liza Minelli performing “All The Single Ladies” in SATC 2.
“Her version is in no way superior to the one in ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,’ and it is somehow both the high point of ‘Sex and the City 2′ and a grim harbinger of what is to come.”
It’s just fun to provoke Naomi. While the “thankyouverymuches” are good, the head turn at 00:18 is the best.
Now I’m not one of those gays who thinks everyone is gay but comedian Doug Benson is gay. Fine. Mum’s the word, I don’t care. But when you start fronting like you bow at the velvet meat curtains, I have to call a queen out.
While partaking in Pot Christmas, April 20, I tuned into the lackadaisical 2007 documentary, Super High Me, starring Mr. Benson, and knew I was watching a fellow sista. He has the walk: the stiff, controlled gait of a man with a secret. He has the voice: a throat that’s not satisfied without a dick in it. And, finally, he has gay face (see link). He’s a classic closet case using marijuana to avoid his gay reality. It’s okay honey, I get it.
I wouldn’t bother to bring this up except that in one scene of his stand-up comedy which is interspersed throughout the film, Benson starts talking about how pussy is one of his favorite things other than weed! Now this is where I draw the gay line: you don’t front like you prone to pussy eating when you’re really a Cockstruzel. Please. The only pussy he likes is cat. His pussy of choice is asshole. The pussy he visits most is a glory hole in a park restroom. In which case, I like pussy too.
I was literally–no joke–singing the praises of Brittany Murphy not 12 hours ago…and I wake up to find out she died this morning. This is the first celebrity death of 2009 that makes me sad and B. makes me nervous that the entire casts of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and New Jersey are going to die because I was talking about them last night, too. God, you can have all of them EXCEPT Kandi.