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Archive for October, 2009

Unabashedly Wrong: Kim & Nene Are Not Patsy & Edina

October 30th, 2009

This post was written last week during the 2nd part of the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion:

I choked on my tofu stir-fry last night when Andy Cohen, the Bravo network exec (who turned himself into on-air personality [eye roll]), compared Real Housewives, Kim and Nene, to AbFab’s Patsy and Edina. Pssshhhh! Only in their wiggiest dreams. Those ignorant bitches don’t even know who Patsy and Edina are.

Furthermore, Andy Cohen, you annoy the ever-loving shit out of me, you high-falutin’ gay media honcho. But I’d fuck you–and by I’d fuck you, I mean you’d fuck me, of course.

Bossy Bottom in the house.

Tags: Absolutely Fabulous, Andy Cohen, Kim, Nene, Patsy & Edina, Real Housewives of Atlanta
Posted in No-List Celebrities, This is not a celebrity gossip blog, Tragedy Train, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

Unabashedly She: This Is She

October 30th, 2009

The new unabashedly queer web series, THIS IS SHE, has premiered to (mostly) rave reviews. The first episode, entitled “Madonna Imitations Are The Queerest Forms of Faggotry,” has brought the batshit crazy YouTube Madonna-obsessed queens out of the woodwork, seething with rage because I said the only interesting, revolutionary thing Madonna can do at this point is die. Pussies. I’ve got a whole list of tired, should-be-dead celebs about to come atcha so stay tuned. THIS IS SHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tags: Madonna, Oh Father, Oh Fatherless, YouTube
Posted in This Is She | No Comments »

Unabashed Jury Misconduct

October 22nd, 2009

Once a year, Ed Asner has to do it.

So does Weird Al Yankovic.

Camryn Manheim has to do it, too.

No, I’m not talking about a prostate exam. I’m talking about jury duty.

It was my privilege to wait in the LA County Superior Court Jury Assembly room all day, only to be escorted to security for taking these photos.

edasner

cam3

Tags: Camryn Manheim, Ed Asner, jury duty, prostate exam, Weird Al Yankovic
Posted in Hollywouldn't, This is not a celebrity gossip blog, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Unabashed Elderstyle: Hosed Toes & Mitzvahs

October 20th, 2009

Comfort. Simplicity. These are the words du jour for this 70-something Jewess.

Effortlessly pairing a heather gray hoodie with a dark gray sweat pant, all she needs to complete the outfit, I think to myself, are some gold Tiva knock-offs with support hose underneath.

She does not disappoint. Until she orders her deli meat.

She orders ham. HAM? She must have an early onset of Alzheimer’s because no good jew (which I know she is) orders ham.

She is lost and disoriented, ordering the other white meat when surely she wants some nice religiously unaffiliated turkey. I demand her cell phone and call her daughter to pick her up.

In our religion, we call what I did a mitzvah.