Category: ‘Test of my Gag Reflex’

Unabashedly I-o-whattttt?

August 13th, 2010

Excuse the absence but I have just endured a relocation from Los Angeles to Iowa City, Iowa which is one of those places where even though it’s called Iowa City, you still have to specify that it’s in the state of Iowa and not like one of those mind-fuck Kansas City, Missouri type cities.

There’s so much I want to say about life here but just accept this image for now:

Bitch is giving up an open-toe, high-heel sandal + panty hose under cuffed short jeans combo complete with ankle bracelet.

Fuck Los Angeles.

Unabashed Casting Recall: James Franco as Allen Ginsberg

June 13th, 2010

Thumbing through my LA Gay and Lezzie Film festival guide, I was forlorn to see a too-attractive wasp sitting at a typewriter wearing a white tee and Buddy Holly glasses with the word “HOWL” next to it and, moreover, the name “James Franco” under that.  I say Goddamn!  Put a hot guy in anything and gays will eat it up.  Shit.  Ginsberg wasn’t a hot Aryan, he was a handsome Jew.  James Franco is a mere showpiece, a tart.  Where’s Jeff Goldblum when you need him?

It's fun to be a gay beat poet!

Unabashed Shocker: J’Hate Sex and the City (and GLEE for that matter)

May 27th, 2010

I hate Sex and the City

I hate the entire SATC franchise

I hate the acronym SATC

I hate the slutty one who was in Mannequin

I hate Carrie’s voice-overs

I hate New York City

I hate rich white bitches

I hate alleged fashionistas

Not all of us queens like this shit, okay ladies?  Oh and while I’m on the topic: FUCK GLEE, TOO.

Now listen to Sandra B. explain why she turned down the role of Miranda:

THIS JUST IN from the New York Times re: Liza Minelli performing “All The Single Ladies” in SATC 2.

“Her version is in no way superior to the one in ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,’ and it is somehow both the high point of ‘Sex and the City 2′ and a grim harbinger of what is to come.”

Unabashed Literature: Raquel Welch “Beyond the Cleavage”

April 26th, 2010

Actress, Mother, Designer of high-end wig line: What’s left to do?  Write a shitty book.

From Amazon.com: Whether refusing to change her name to Debbie–because producers considered “Raquel” too ethnic–or to lie about her age, even to the detriment of her career, she has evolved elegantly over time into a true champion for women who defy traditional aging.

Along with bringing baby boomers into her confidence–she offers essential tips for staying motivated and positive past fifty, as well as divulging her secrets for fabulous hair and makeup–she even talks to today’s younger generation of women about the importance of carrying themselves with dignity and self-respect.

Unabashed Casting Call: Grease XXX

March 2nd, 2010

Porn director Axel Braun (take a rock star’s first name and pair it with a paper towel company) announced yesterday that he is holding auditions for “Grease XXX,” a “big-budget (porn) parody” of the 1978 film, “Grease.”118120_r3Per the Xbiz website: The movie will feature five different dance numbers requiring talent to do their own singing and dancing.

Per director, Braun: “Many performers are incredibly talented individuals who have simply chosen to make their living in the adult industry for personal reasons. ‘Grease XXX’ will give all of them a real opportunity to shine!”

A real opporuntity to shine.  In Grease.  I bet that wasn’t on purpose, either.

I’m gonna take a shot — a greasy, shiny shot — at possible song/dance numbers to be included:

Hopelessly Devoted to Goo

Born to Hand Job

Summer Dykes

You’re the One that I Want (to fuck)

Look at Me, I’m Tommy Lee

There Aren’t Worse Things I Could Do

We Cum Together

Unabashed Drag Name: Channing Tatum

February 4th, 2010

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Stockard Channing Tatum O’Neal.

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Unabashed RIP: The Ghost of NMH Past

December 17th, 2009

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Upon receiving the news that the Northfield campus of Northfield Mount Hermon School would be sold, NMH alums (which includes me) were promised that the Northfield campus would go to something GOOD…NOT GOD.

I came to terms with the sale of the Northfield campus a few years ago.  But to pound another nail in the cross, the campus has been sold to a crazy fanatical right-wing Christian company named fuckin’ Hobby Lobby.  The campus is going to be turned into the home of  C.S. Lewis College, a school named for the author of the Lion, Witch and whatever novels.  Read their mission statement:

The College will be rooted in the historic Christian faith and so structured as to ensure its fidelity to that profession. It will be characterized by a firm commitment to “Mere Christianity,” and therefore be inclusive of Christians of all traditions. In the spirit of C.S. Lewis, the envisioned college will actively encourage opportunities to discover the vitality and profound relevance of the Christian faith as it is lived openly within the larger pluralistic setting of mainstream colleges and universities (more…)

Unabashed Back Hair

December 14th, 2009

Robin Williams, talking about your back hair doesn’t make me wanna donate to St. Jude.